Before this blog header starts you thinking of Huey Lewis, Jennifer Rush, Celine Dion or Frankie relaxing in Hollywood, cast your minds back a few years.. Do you remember those poster tube packs you used to get with a set of Berol colouring pens? As I approach 40 years of age I’m reflecting on the fact that my life seems to be like one of those posters. Whilst it has been, and continues to be, fun to spend the time colouring and personalising it with all the correct and/or whacky colours of experience and philosophical rumination, in the end I’ll still end with a picture which looks more or less the same as everyone else’s. However, sometimes something extraordinary might happen in your life and one thing you can guarantee is that it will take you down a path strewn with obstacles determined to make things more challenging..
As I write I’m looking forwards yet again to April. You’ll recall in my last adventure things didn’t work out too well (for those of you reading this with a masochistic desire to dabble with empathy, see my blog entitled “How Far Will You Go? Pt2” from April 2010). Ten months later and I’m taking another leap of faith, to reach the hand of a beautiful and loving Filipina with whom I now share my days - albeit virtually and with a significant distance between us. We are getting together soon to explore the relationship we have nurtured, and intend to spend two blissful weeks bonding. From where I sit writing now, I hope we will be together on a more permanent basis very soon. Of course, no good deed or spell of happiness goes unpunished, and our romance is no exception. Once more the incontinent buffalo of politics steams through the world, dropping manifestos, pledges and regulations aplenty, forcing us to jump through ridiculous hoops just to enjoy the basic freedom of togetherness which most couples take for granted. As a very important part of our bonding I would love for my Filipina to be able to experience the UK sooner rather than later, but again it falls to me to do all the travelling and it is with notable irony to me that she must make an equal leap of faith in return, as you will see..
Did you know that Filipinos can’t take a holiday abroad to most of the world (if they can afford it) without a visitor’s visa, which in roughly 80% of cases is declined? It will likely be because of a lack of proof that the person in question can support themselves financially whilst on said holiday, or proof that they will actually return at all! Think about that for a moment. You are subjected to numerous checks and searches before they let you willingly place body and soul into a fragile, pressurised container, to be carried to unfathomable heights perilously close to the edge of a vacuous infinity, but when was the last time the UK Border Agency automatically doubted you would return from your holiday? Perhaps they plant a transmitter in your luggage or your shoes when they check for C4, just in case? Irony strikes again to think that the Philippines national wealth relies pretty substantially on the income of off-shore workers (OFW’s) and yet they go to vast lengths to impose restrictions in case said traveller abandons their families.. or are the Filipino officials finally prepared to admit that their country needs some work on its political and social infrastructure? Maybe I’m completely wrong. Is it the fault of the rest of the world for imposing unreasonable demands as part of their politically/culturally negotiated travel requirements?
It gets worse.
I can only speak for the UK, but after the ‘powers that be’ realised they’d left the barn door open they changed the rules governing immigration, and fitted a bureaucratic EU shaped ‘catflap’, thereby simply making the situation even harder for genuine non-EU applicants. If my girlfriend and I are to come together “by the book”, then here is the scenario. With hindsight we’ve discussed options and to have her living with me here in the UK is realistically the best option, so we have to prove we have a real relationship in order for her to qualify for a spouse visa (emails, tickets, anything and everything which can be mustered). IF she is granted a spouse visa (at considerable expense) then we have leave for her to come here where we would have to be married within six months or else she’ll be sent off packing. Assuming this blessed union takes place (under the banner of true love of course and not as a matter of political expediency which they are enforcing here) then we would need to apply for an 18 month extension to her visa, during which time she needs to apply for and successfully pass the “Life in the UK” test, to prove her worthiness to be a UK citizen. All indigenous UK residents I know who have taken the online sample test have failed it. I’ve failed it on several occasions. If she passes she can apply for indefinite leave to remain.. if she fails then she can again expect to be shipped off home even though we’re now officially married in the eyes of everyone from ourselves, family and friends, down to the bean counters.
I suspect there are far too many couples in ‘separated marriages’ because of such heartless, statistical, quota-satisfying lunacy. I appreciate that from one perspective this type of legislation creates a legal pause for ‘certainty of commitment’ between couples, but to be honest I really don’t think two people investing so much into a relationship such as this need any legislation to remind them of the rudimentary aspects of their romance. To my mind Long distance relationships even have some advantages to them. It removes the usual bed-hopping which takes place in early western courtships, and encourages the mutual core of loving feelings to surface better than a £1,000,000 worth of counselling, but even with as much love as we possess it does take a very real emotional toll, without all the residual political crap listed above. All of this is yet another example of how the power of the internet is making it easier to meet and greet in the real world, effectively outrunning (or should that be ‘circumventing’?) the older, more pedestrian political machinations. Indeed the “Life in the UK” test is probably as good an example of a political band-aid if ever there was one. How can a test designed to filter those suitable and worthy for UK residency ask anything which can place both myself and my British friends into a category fit for deportation? What about all the many other complications and misunderstandings which must happen between cultures through these gears of ineptitude? If politicians haven’t completely given up on endearing themselves to their constituents and they feel inclined to think about the title of this blog, then maybe they ought to consider working ever more feverish towards positive political ties, rather than indulging in the kinds of arrogant political one-upmanship we seem to relive time and again.. puerile games for which in so many ways I haven’t even touched upon here, we may all pay a price worse than a couple of visas.
I’m sorry if it’s a cliché but the bottom line for me is that all the money, bombastic behaviour, and pomp and circumstance isn’t important.
People matter. Love matters.
Peace.
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